Prodigal Daughter
by Kammy24601
Summary: Susan Pevensie is left alone and orphaned after a train malfunction stole her entire family. She begins to have dreams of a world they used to play in a game, Narnia. But what if it wasn't a game? In new Narnia, Caspian the tenth's wife didn't make it to Aslan's country. Caspian longs for the Queen of old he originally fell in love with. Can he win her back? At what cost?
1. Gone

Disclaimer: I do not own Narnia or any of its wonderful characters unfortunately. All credit goes to the wonderful C.S. Lewis. Please review and tell me how I can improve my writing or any ideas you might want to share! Sorry if anyone's a bit OOC

The day the snow turned black was the day Susan Pevensie's world turned completely upside down. She was used to the greyish slush that fell from the dirty sky of London, but this froze her in her tracks. She looked up at the sky curiously, holding her hand out to catch a snowflake. It's cold. Definitely a snowflake, but it leaves a slight black puddle on her hand.

"What's going on?" she starts to hear people around her murmur, everyone staring at the sky confused.

"There's been a wreck, there has!" Someone shouts from an open store window loudly, trying to be heard over the loud engines of the automobiles.

"A wreck?!" Susan ignores the sudden rambling, shaking her head slightly. Someone must have hit the coal factory or something. Poor soul.

She starts weaving through the crowd, heading towards the train station to see her family. They've been abroad for weeks! And to think, she stayed behind for a few silly parties. Oh, how's she's missed them! Even if they do get slightly annoying at times. And Mother and father are coming in with them! Along with Eustace and his friend Jill or something, she couldn't remember. They could have Christmas dinner together again!

"-a malfunction in the engine of some sort! Route nine, it says if ya listening to the radio" The old guy continues, obviously enjoying the attention. Wow, what some people-

"D-did you just say route nine?" Susan asks, her whole body turning cold. No. There's been a mistake. She had just gotten off the phone with Lucy an hour ago. She was telling her how they should get Eustace and Ji- Pole! That's what they called the girl! Pole. Lu was telling her about how they both fancy one another but they were too shy to admit it.

"Yes missus," he replies, nodding eagerly, "came straight out of 'Ol Cambridge up there. Heartwrenching, it is. No survivors. No siree"

"C-cam...Cambridge… I…. PETER!" She starts shoving people out of her way, trying to get to the train station, "MOVE! ED! LUCY! MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!"

She's dropped everything now. The sweets she got for Lu and Jill. The bag of gifts for the others. She lost her high heels somewhere in the crowd. She's even managed to shrug off the jacket and shawl Peter had mailed her last Christmas. She was in a sleeveless dress, in temperatures below zero, sprinting through traffic to get to a train station seven blocks away.

They can't be dead! They can't! Peter's twenty two for crying out loud! Edmund is nineteen, barely an adult! And Lucy, poor Lucy. She's only seventeen. She's never going to be able to be an adult! But of course she is! Because she's not dead! None of them are! This is some kind of joke or mix up or something.

"Miss?!" Someone grabs her arm, shattering her already scattered thoughts. "Are you alright?"

She glances over blankly. He's wearing a uniform. Some kind of policeman or something then. Interesting. Why would he be talking to her?

"Ma'am?"

"Yes sir?" she responds quickly, shaking her head abruptly to clear her head. No need to be rude since she already looks like a mess anyway.

"Are you okay?! It's freezing! And you're hardly dressed for a stroll to the station," he tells her, sliding off his jacket and draping it over her shoulders. "Were you robbed? Kidnapped? Drug addict maybe….?"

"What?! NO!" Susan huffs, shrugging his jacket off angrily. "I'm heading for the train station to meet my-"

She stops when she realizes she's made it to the train station. It's empty. Completely empty except for some station workers and police officers.

"The station is closed ma'am. There was a malfunction on a private carriage a few hours ago. All trains are now heading to the station across town." he explains kindly. "Could I give you a ride home Miss?"

"What train was it? Please. I have to know" She exclaims, trying to shove past him.

He grabs her shoulders quickly, holding her still "It was just a family carriage ma'am! We have to find their sister tomorrow. Your guests are probably waiting-"

"A family…?" She mutters quietly. Peter talked about renting a private carriage once, just to see how it felt. Surely… Wait. did. Lucy had said there was no new friends to talk to! That's why she was so bored.

"Yes ma'am. Can I give you a ride home or to a-"

"Pevensie!" Susan blurts out suddenly, louder than she intended. Everyone in the station froze and turned to face the odd girl with no sleeves or shoes.

"Excuse me?" The officer questions, studying her carefully. "Where have you heard that name?"

"S-susan. My name is Susan Pevensie." She stutters, scrubbing at her eyes hopelessly, He recognized her last name. They're really gone. Her whole family is really gone. Everyone. She's alone.

"Miss. Pevensie?" He asks slowly, panic starting to fill his face. "Daughter of Helen Pevensie?"

"Yes sir," She says, but she doesn't recognize her own voice. She feels completely numb, like the whole world is a million miles away.

"Are you feeling alright Miss. Pevensie?" He asks cautiously, looking around to ask what he should do, but there isn't anyone around to ask.

"I'm feeling fine," she lies, starting at platform nine trembling.

She would never get to hug her mother again. She would never be able to kiss her fathers cheek. She would never be able to dance with Peter. She would never be able to tease Edmund about his writing or his love for torches again. She would never be able to braid Lucy's hair, or try to set her up with nice young men ever again. She would never be able to tease Eustace about this Jill girl, or even meet her at all. So many things she's taken for granted.

Something screams in anguish, and it take a few seconds for her to realize that the sound is coming from her own mouth. She feels several arms wrap around her as she falls to the ground, the entire world fading away.


	2. New Narnia

**Disclaimer:** **I own nothing. Narnia belongs to everyone's favorite C.S. Lewis. And thank you for the reviews! I really hope that you guys like it! (If you have any advice for me to improve it would be very greatly appreciated.) Also, any ideas or suggestions on the story would be great!**

 _In New Narnia_

"Edmund! Lucy! Peter! Eustace?! Is that you old chap?" Caspian calls excitedly over the cheering of the other Narnians.

"Caspian!" Lucy exclaims excitedly, running to him and throwing her arms around him excitedly.

"Yes, yes," Eustace says sheepishly, "I know I've gained a bit around my middle. Thanks for pointing that out your highness."

"No!" Caspian tells him, laughing, "I was just going to say that you've buffed up quite a bit! Look like a proper swordsman now!"

"Don't blow up his head now,Caspian," Pole says, rolling her eyes, "he already has plenty of air in it."

"I apologize," he says slowly, looking at the group of seven, "I know Peter. I know Edmund. I know Lucy, and of course I know Eustace, but…. Would it be rude to ask who the rest of you are?"

"I'm Jill,but everyone calls me Pole" Jill says quickly.

"Jill?!" Caspian cries out, shocked, "but you're…. Older!"

"Well, yes. I've grown. And I'm not in a school uniform so that's quite a bit of improvement," she replies casually, trying not to seem too pleased, "This is Professor Kirke. He was here around the founding of…. The other Narnia?"

"Yes, yes," Professor Kirke chuckles," I believe we may call that the Old Narnia. I was there when Narnia was young. Along with my friend here, Polly."

"Nice to meet you, King Caspian," Polly says, bowing politely.

"Please, it's only Caspian here," he argues, holding his hand up politely, "and-"

"King Caspian," Aslan says, his voice filled with enough power to "High King Peter, King Edmund, Queen Lucy. Welcome home, friends and protectors of Narnia."

"Aslan," Caspian says, falling to his knees with the other Narnians.

"Rise Kings and Queen of Narnia. Rise Eustace, knight of Narnia. Rise Jill, friend and protector of Narnia. Rise Diggory and Polly witnesses of the birth and destruction of Narnia." He says, smiling kindly.

They all rise up, one by one, looking around slightly confused.

"Son of Adam, and daughters of Eve, the Narnians have requested that you all keep the crowns and titles. You will all live in Cair Paravel together. There will be no problems for you all to settle, but it is the wish of my people. The Golden Ages will be restored, filled with peace and prosperity to all people, and-" Aslan's eyes slowly fall on Caspian, "You are troubled, Caspian"

"I mean no disrespect sir," he replies sheepishly, "but I think you already know why."

Caspian looks hopefully over the crowd of humans once more, looking for the face he was longing to see the most. He loved all the Pevensie children, even if Peter tried to kill him a few times. They were like his family, but even he couldn't deny that he was most looking forward to seeing Susan once more, even if his feelings were not returned.

"This is true," he says, laughing heartily, causing the rest of the Narnians to join in, "but I would like to hear it from you."

"It's just….. They seem to have lost Susan somewhere, your highness," he explains slowly, studying the long, somber faces of the Pevensie children. "I….. Is she alright?"

"My sister Susan," Peter speaks up gravely, "is no longer a friend of Narnia."

"What?" Caspian asks, stunned. He looks from face to face. First Peter. The Edmund. Lucy. Eustace. Jill. Diggory. Polly. And finally, Aslan himself. They all wear the same somber expression.

"I'm sorry Caspian," Edmund says, fiddling with his sword nervously. He wouldn't need it, but it comforted all of the guys to have their weapons.

"I was…. Unaware of that," he replies slowly, staring at the sky. "May I be excused, my King?"

"Of course, King Caspian," Aslan says, "you're all allowed to go enjoy New Narnia. At anytime"

Caspian bows and hurries away before anyone else tries to console him. Susan…..Susan no longer a friend of Narnia? How could that be? Susan was kind and gentle and sweet and… Good. Susan was everything a Narnian should be. How could someone change that much? How could anyone no longer want to be a part of Narnia?  
"May I join you Caspian?" Aslan asks, startling him. He didn't hear the Lion approach.

"Of course Aslan," he replies, sitting on a rock wall, "it is after all your country."

"You know what I meant by that," he says, chuckling. At least, Caspian hoped it was a chuckle. Aslan isn't a tame lion, after all.

"Of course," he says, tracing the stone on the wall slowly, "have I…. Have we lost her forever sir?"

"That's a very hard thing to say," Aslan replies delicately, staring out over the crowd of people that have yet to disperse.

"You know everything sir. How could it be hard to say?" Caspian asks quickly, standing to his feet.

"I don't know everything," Aslan explains, "I do not know what Susan will choose. All I can do is guide her in the right direction and hope she chooses wisely, son."

"But what if she doesn't?! What is she changes her mind and chooses not to believe? What if she chooses to ignore you? What then your majesty?"

"You doubt, King Caspian?"

"No! Of course not!" He says hurriedly, "I just…. I don't want the Pevensie's to have to live without Susan. Even if they aren't alive themselves. This matter confuses me greatly."

"They are gone in their world. They will remain in New Narnia. In my country. Susan...Susan must learn to cope without them. And to find me."

"You're going to her world then? To help her?"

"No… But I think I know someone who could help persuade her a bit." Aslan tells him, smiling slightly.

"Queen Lucy? If anyone can talk to Susan, she can. And then Susan will have to believe!" For, he thought happily, if she wouldn't listen to the dead, who would she listen to?

"I don't think Lucy would be the best choice. Susan has lost everyone that she held close to her. What do you think would happen if one of her siblings showed up on her doorstep?"

"She would… Be Susan I suppose." Caspian says, shaking his head. Who could help here then?

"She wouldn't believe it. She would think she was hallucinating," he said slowly, shaking his head slowly. "She locked herself off from all memories of Narnia. She truly believes it all to be a fairytale."

Caspian doesn't know how to reply. How could the brilliant, beautiful, bright girl he knew not believe in Narnia? He still remembers the day she told him she wouldn't be returning. He remembers the kiss and how it felt too final for his taste. Like she truly believed they would never meet again. He always held out hope, but now, upon seeing the other Pevensies, he wasn't too sure. Maybe he and Susan just weren't be. That of course didn't stop all the awkward conversations with his wife when she heard him whispering another woman's name in his sleep. She understood, but she was hurt. Caspian couldn't fix that either. He loved her. He really did, but Susan was just…. Susan. Everyone loves Susan! His eyes fill with tears as he realizes he might never get a chance to see her again.

"Do not cry child," Aslan purrs comfortingly, placing his paw upon Caspian's shoulder. "I believe we can help her."

"You said she wouldn't listen to anyone," he says miserably, shaking his head.

"I never said that. You just assumed because you doubt yourself. You doubt your ability to be loved, King of Narnia."

"I don't think I'm following you."

"Susan loved you. Loves you. She doesn't realize it yet, but I think you could remind her."

"Me? But…. I was only in their world for a few minutes! I know nothing about it!"

"Which is why the ones who do know about their own world will tell you. You need to learn as much as you can before you go. Are you ready for another adventure?"

Caspian honestly wasn't sure what he was ready for, especially in a world where children sought to hurt other children, as he learned with Eustace and Jill, but if he could help Susan, he was willing to try.

"I am. If you honestly think it would help. Do you think I can convince her? Of any of this? They say she was the hardest to convince Aslan. What if she doesn't return?"

"Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen of Narnia," he answers, "Always. Not once they change their minds or forget. Always."

Caspian feels warm when he hears these words. Susan will be back. She will believe. Narnia is her home. All of their home. _Always_.


	3. The Funeral

Two weeks. Fourteen entire days since her entire family had died. Two weeks and she couldn't remember the last time that she had eaten anything at all. Or even gotten out of bed. Two weeks since she's brushed her hair or let go of Lucy's stuffed bear. She's ignored her phone and the doorbell. Her friends have tried to stop by, but Susan just pretend to be asleep and hid the spare key. She's only really moved to sign okay some stuff for the funeral, and even that-

"Oh God," Susan cries out, her sobs echoing throughout her hollowed out chest.

All of the coffins were closed, since there aren't actually any…...bodies to bury. For Susan, this was the worst part. She could barely handle that they're gone, but now she won't even get to properly say goodbye. She couldn't kiss their cheeks and wish them well. She couldn't whisper the things she wished she would have been able to tell them in real life. She would be saying goodbye to an empty coffin. She would have to smile and pretend she was alright. She would have to mutter some crap about them being in a better place, and act like she understands none of this was her fault.

Except it was. This was all her fault, and Susan has never been a very good liar. She asked them to stop off for the Christmas holiday. She wanted to see Jill and Mrs. Polly and Professor Diggory. She begged them and pleaded until they agreed. They were supposed to make on more stop in Cambridge, and head home in two weeks, but they changed their minds, because of her. Oh, what she would give to just trade them spots. You see, even Susan knew she was the selfish one. She didn't want to say goodbye to her family or friends, so she always secretly hoped to die first. They would be fine without her, but the family would be crushed if they lost Pete or Ed or Lu. They would be hurt, yes, but she wasn't the family glue. She wasn't even the smart one anymore. She just partied and ignored everything else. Including her family. Oh, how she wishes to apologize one last time. Just one. Hug them all and properly say goodbye, especially if she would never see them again. They were good people. If there is an afterlife, wherever they are definitely isn't for her.

Two hours before the funeral, Susan finally stood up. She had to have a proper washing before. Even if her family is gone, she shouldn't show up to their funeral looking like an orphan. Even if that's exactly what she is.

"Lucy doesn't like black," she whispers to herself as she holds up the black dress that reaches mid thigh. "None of them do really. None of us I should probably say."

 _But it's a funeral! You have to wear black at a funeral Su. It's respectful._ A strong clear voice rings in her ears, but she knows only she can hear it.

She smiles slightly. It's Peter. She's been hearing all of their voices in her head recently, and she was trying to cling to the sounds as tightly as she can. It was all she had left besides the memories and some pictures. What could would any of that do in the long run?

She bites her lip, shaking her head furiously. Bad Susan, she tells herself, just concentrate on getting ready and then you can go back to sleep after the funeral.

 _You should just wear colors. Colors are always wonderful Susan. Oh! Wear yellow Su! It's my favorite! Please please please!_

"Lucy!" She laughs, wiping the tears away that she hasn't realized had escaped, "it's a funeral sweetheart. I'm supposed to speak in front of people! I can't wear yellow!"

 _Well….. Why don't you compromise?_ Edmund's voice interjects. _Wear the black dress, but maybe put a yellow hair bow or bracelet on or something? What about the necklace from the professor?_

"That's a wonderful idea Ed!" She exclaims, hardly believing that she had forgotten about the beautiful necklace that Professor Diggory had made her. Her siblings were smarter than her, even when they weren't actually here. Figures.

"Now where did I leave it…." She mutters to herself, tearing her flat up eagerly, unable to concentrate anything but on the necklace. She always felt more beautiful and bold when she wore it, but her friend told her it looked childish, so she took it off. All of her siblings wore theirs, and she felt as if it would keep them linked. They never took it off no matter what, now, if she could find it, neither would she.

"I lost it Ed!" She cries in despair twenty minutes later, feeling the tears come rushing back. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

She falls to her knees, burying her face in her hands. An hour and a half until the funeral, and she hasn't even started getting ready yet. An hour and a half until she had to stand in front of people and talk about how she believes that all of her siblings are in a better place or something pointless like that to make everyone feel better. She decides to give up on the necklace, but suddenly a memory shoots to the front of her mind:

~ _A few years earlier_

 _"Su?" Lucy asks tentatively, looking up from her homework._

 _"Yes Luc?" She asks, walking over to the younger girl thinking she needs help with her homework or something._

 _"What happened to your Aslan?"_

 _"My…. What?" She questions, confused. Was she referring to that silly cat from the game?_

 _"Your Aslan. It's gone," Lucy replies slowly, pulling her out her necklace._

 _"Ohhh. That silly old lion? It's on my dresser."_

 _"Why? We all wear them!"_

 _"Since we were children Luc," she tells her softly, brushing her hair carefully behind her ear, "but we're older now. I think it's time to stop believing in fairytales."_

 _"But Susan it isn't a-" she starts to protest angrily._

 _"Don't you have math to be doing?" She interrupts, cutting off the conversation entirely._

 _Susan would never admit that she really did enjoy the lion necklace. It was a piece of wood about as wide as a ping pong ball, but it was flat. On the side that showed, it had a beautiful lion carved into it by the professor himself. He had carved a wreath of branches around the lion, and filled every mark with gold that he had melted specially for the purpose. On the edges, he wrote "Once a king or queen of Narnia, Always a king or queen of Narnia," in letters so small, no one noticed it until a few months later when Lucy was studying hers under a magnifying glass. On the back, the side that rests against her chest, he simply carved "Queen Susan the gentle." Everyone got the exact same necklace, except the back. Peter's said "King Peter the magnificent," and was filled with a dark red metal of some sort that no one has been able to identify, but they all assumed it was a ruby. Edmund's said "King Edmund the Just," and it was filled with a silver lining, that was so bright it almost glowed, but all they could think it might be was silver. Lucy's said "Queen Lucy the Valiant," and was filled with a yellow color even brighter than gold, but they couldn't figure out what it was. Her own was filled with some kind of cool blue color, and it seemed to glow in the dark, and no one for the life of them could figure out what it was. Sapphire perhaps? The chain itself was tightly woven silver for her and gold for Lucy. The boys both got leather, and they were all gorgeous. They wore them everywhere, until she stopped._

 _"Susan!' Lucy calls as she sees Susan leaving for the store._

 _"What is it, Lu?" She yells over her shoulder, only half paying attention._

 _"I put your necklace in the box on your closet shelf. Just in case you were looking."_

 _"Hmmm? Okay. That's nice. Hope you have fun. Be home by ten!" She tells her firmly, walking out of the flat._

The closet! Susan jumps up excitedly, sprinting towards the closet. It's there. The box is still there! It might be childish, but she loved it. So Linda could buzz off. Not like she understands anyway.

She pulls the necklace onto her neck, smiling in relief at the familiar weight. It sits perfectly in the hollow of her neck, almost as if the professor had known exact measurements. She didn't thank him enough for his kindness. A bit too late now.

"Oh, Lu. I'm sorry I ever took this off!"

She quickly decides to stop procrastinating, and starts getting ready at once. Forty five minutes later, her hair is curled, her dress is ironed and on, and her shoes are waiting for her by the door. All that's left is her makeup.

She stares at all the different shades of lipstick and foundation and blush, and she doesn't feel like putting anything on. Her friends always said she looked good with makeup. They said she look refined and elegant, but her siblings argued otherwise. They said she looked wonderful without makeup, and that she didn't need it.

Well, today was for her siblings, not her friends. She puts the makeup back in the drawer firmly, touching her gaunt cheekbones, staring in the mirror.

She looks like a skeleton. Dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, her cheeks have hollowed out, and her eyes were no longer the brilliant blue she was used to seeing. They were dark and stormy and….. Haunting. She hardly recognizes herself.

"I'm sorry…" she whispers, but she doesn't know if it's to herself or her family and friends. Susan isn't sure of much anymore.

She turns the lights off and grabs her umbrella, slipping her shoes on as she slips outside. It didn't seem right to her. The day we're having their funeral, it's sunny and gorgeous. Cold, since it's winter, but still sunny. Which never happens in England. It should be raining and dark and gross and mushy. It wasn't fair!

She fights tears the whole way to the chapel, trying to keep her head high as she walks into the building. Her aunt and uncle aren't here yet, but she'll get to sit by them which offers her a small sense of comfort. At least she wouldn't have to listen to complete strangers family and Polly and Professor Diggory especially knew and touched so many people, she knew she wouldn't even know a tenth of the people here, but they would know her. All of their friends always seemed to know who she was, which weirded her out but made her happy at the same time. They loved her enough to talk about her with people they cared about. Not badly either, they talked about how wonderful she was, even if she did get annoyed with them easily. Oh dear God, why couldn't she just be like them? It wasn't fair. She just had to be the cold, logical one. She couldn't be the open minded sweetheart that everyone loved. Oh, the fates were cruel, but she couldn't change that. She couldn't change any of this.

"Susan?" A deep voice tainted with a heavy accent that she didn't recognize called her name.

"Yes?" She turned to find the source of the voice, not really in the mood to greet people quite yet.

But when she finds the source of the voice, she is completely frozen in place. His eyes are a dark brown color, and they seem to be swimming with some sort of emotion she can't recognize. Loss? Longing? Love? Fear? Of course! They were at a funeral after all. The torrent of emotions made his eyes look like coal, and she could tell you would never want to see him mad. Why did she feel like he would never hurt her? Why did the voice and gorgeous hair and strong arms and gorgeous lips seem-

"Earth to Miss. Pevensie?" The man calls again, chuckling, but it sounds like a soft growl in the back of his throat.

"Sorry," she says, trying not to blush, "You just seem really familiar."

"Well, I'm a friend of Peter's…. Was a friend of Peter's. And Edmund and Lucy too. We met while they were abroad awhile ago. I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Yeah…" She whispers, looking at her nails, "me too."

"My name is Caspian, M'lady," he tells her, bowing down in front of her, "It is an honor to make your acquaintance."

She can't help but laugh, "Nice to meet you as well your highness. Where, might I ask, are you from?"

"A land far far away, sadly. But I'll be in England for a while," he answers playfully, unable to keep a hint of regret out of his eyes. "That's a gorgeous necklace you have there. A lion How symbolic."

Oh, how Susan longed to know what this strange man was thinking. And why she suddenly felt a bit better, even though this is the one of the worst days in her entire life?

"I better go find a seat, fair maiden," Caspian says, kissing her hand softly, "What a pleasure it was to speak with you."

"The pleasure was mine,Caspian," she says, wandering over to her aunt and uncle.

 _Caspian….. Where have I heard that name before_? She wonders to herself as she sits in her seat, allowing herself to be wrapped in the arms of her aunt.


	4. Good people

Caspian honestly couldn't believe his eyes. Susan pevensie was standing right in front of him. _Susan Pevensie_ was standing right in front of him, but she wasn't facing him. He knew it was her the second he appeared behind her. He would love to say it was just because of her hair, and sound all loving and dedicated but….. Honestly? It was because Aslan allowed him to see the dress she would be wearing so he didn't make a fool of himself. Caspian was convinced he would recognize Susan on sight, but the other Pevensies weren't so sure. They said she always wore so much makeup, there were times even _they_ wouldn't have recognized her.

Caspian wished that he could say that he remembered every detail about Susan Pevensie, but he's always been a very bad liar. In all honestly, it's been at least a lifetime since he has seen her, probably even more than that. The one thing that he could always say he never forgot were her eyes. He would often lay awake at night, haunted by the eyes of the first woman he fell in love with. They were a gorgeous blue, but not the dark. They were light, reminding him of the lake a few hours away from Cair Paravel when the lake was frozen. They were a light blue, but he wouldn't describe them as sweet. They were calculating, and they could turn very cold, very fast. He found that out when he screwed up…. A few times. He wouldn't say her name. He wouldn't talk to her. He need to plan this through and-

"Susan!" He finds himself calling, screaming at himself internally. He's going to screw this up! He's going to screw this up and then all of Narnia will hate him for eternity!

"Yes?" She replies, her voice soft and not at all like he remembers. He's pretty sure she always spoke confidently and….. Wow.

She turns around to, or at least he assumes, find out who's talking to her. He stands there, smiling awkwardly. She….. Oh! In the name of Aslan, she's changed. She doesn't look like she's wearing any makeup at all, which is odd. Even Lucy was sure she would be. Everyone was so sure she would be.

"Hello, Miss. Pevensie," he says slowly, trying not to study her too closely.

She doesn't bother to answer him. She's studying him too, which is a bit odd. He had to get a haircut because long hair apparently wasn't widely accepted for young men in this world. Which he took offense to, because he isn't young! Sure, he's younger than Peter and Edmund and Lucy and…. Yeah. Fine. He was young, but the point is she claimed to never have remembered him at all, but she wasn't looking at him like some random stranger.

Susan had actually changed…. A lot. He's pretty sure she was always the one telling the troops to shut up and sleep so they can be well rested, but she had dark circles under her eyes. Her face had hollowed out and it look as if she hadn't even smelled food in…. Aslan knows how long. Her eyes were just a dull, lifeless grey color, not at all like he remembered, but it might just be because she was wearing black. He hasn't really seen any of the Pevensies in black before. It physically hurt to see her like this, but not because he cared for her in a romantic way! He cared for all of the Pevensies equally! Yes, he loved her at one point, or at least he thought he did, but it's been forever. They've probably grown apart and...and-

"Earth to Miss. Pevensie?" He says chuckling, trying to sound lighthearted and not look like a total creep who has been staring at her for like….ten minutes straight.

"Sorry," she replies sheepishly as her eyes brighten up slightly, blushing a soft pink. Crap. Now he's went and embarrassed her! "You just seem familiar."

"Well, I'm a friend of Peter," he says, starting to say that he said hello. _He's dead here you idiot!_ "Was a friend of Peter's. And Edmund and Lucy too. We met while they were abroad awhile ago. I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Yes," she says softly, her eyes going back to that dull gray, "me too."

"My name is Caspian, M'lady,"he tells her after a few seconds pass. Hey, he might look like an idiot, but it felt nice to greet her the way she actually deserves. "It is an honor to make your acquaintance."

"Nice to meet you as well your highness," she responds, laughing. "Where, might I ask, are you from?"

"A land far far away, sadly. But I'll be in England for a while," he replies quietly, his eyes falling to her necklace to avoid her eyes. He just…. Is that _Aslan_?! It could just be any old lion, but It's Susan Pevensie! Surely this isn't a coincidence! "That's a gorgeous necklace you have there. A lion. How symbolic."

She just smiles and touches the necklace, her eyes staring at nothing. And now he's boring her. Just great. _Ruining your chances before you earn them_ he tells himself, annoyed.

"I better go find a seat, fair maiden," Caspian says, kissing her hand softly, "What a pleasure it was to speak with you."

"The pleasure was mine Caspian," she replies with a smile, walking to the front of the church, sitting by a lady who hugs her tightly.

Oh, how he hopes this works. He takes a seat in the very back corner, trying to avoid all of the people that were apparently sure to show up. Why did they all think it was a good idea to show up at the funeral? Sure, he was a good public speaker on most occasions, but at this funeral? He knows all of the people they are honoring today are much much happier now than they ever were here! How was he supposed to act sad? He would look weird if he was just staring boredly off into space, and horribly callous if he fell asleep like he wants to. This world just makes him tired. Awfully boring. He tried to talk with a squirrel and it ran away. Then he tried to talk with a dog, and the poor thing just barked. The animals were all dumb in this world, and it was heartbreaking. So much unused potential gone to waste.

The room is suddenly filled with the clamoring of voices as an entire group of children walk in. They all have the same vests and ties and white shirts on. They also had on some kind of crest on their jackets…. Oh! Lucy's school people. Her class! That must be them. Wow. Today was going to get extremely crowded. If the Pevensies were anything like they were in Narnia, they are widely loved and will be dearly missed. All of the children, teenager is what Lucy called them, respectfully sit down and stop chattering. He can tell that most of them have been crying, even the boys. Which is wonderful, boys should always be allowed to cry. Just not kings, as he has found out. Or….. Men in general in his world, but when the four Kings and Queens of old left, both times, there was weeping from even the strongest warriors, so Caspian wouldn't look down on these boys at all.

For the next half hour, the room steadily fills up until there is only standing room left. Lots of the men towards the back, Caspian included, have given up their seats for women and the elderly. At least there was some courtesy in this world!

Finally, an older man wearing a black…. Vestment is what he thinks Lucy called it. She was hoping it would be white with the purple sash. Edmund told her that they had died. No one would be celebrating. She told him to stop being such a spoilsport and go flirt with a nymph or something.

Caspian can't help but laugh at the memory, and it earns him quite a few dirty looks from the people around him. Whoops. He was supposed to be sad. He looks at the ground soberly, trying to think of things that upset him. His mind drifted to Susan, and how she was left all alone. She didn't know her siblings were where they rightfully belonged, and if he didn't succeed, it would be a long time before she ever joined them. _If_ she ever joined them. That sombered him up really quickly.

There were a lot of people getting up to talk. Friends of Professor Diggory and Lady Polly, both young and old. They told stories of the kindness and generosity that Caspian has come to associate the two people that have seen both the rise and fall of Narnia.

The lady beside Susan stands and walks to the stage, along with a slightly round man and they both cling to each other desperately. A slightly younger couple joins them, and they all hug each others neck in support. Caspian can't figure out who they are until they start telling stories of Eustace and Jill. They were friends for a few years apparently, but Caspian can't understand much of what they're saying. He respects both of the children of course, but their parents are soggy messes. After a few minutes they finally step down.

Friends of the elder Pevensies were called up as well, and they told stories about a brave man who went to fight in a war to protect their country. Caspian would expect nothing less of the father of Peter and Edmund. No wonder they were such natural born fighters and leaders. There were lots of stories about Mr. Pevensie during the war, and Caspian finally understood where Susan had inherited her cold sense of logic from. There were also tales of the love of a Mrs. Pevensie, of how broken she was about sending her children away. How she always seemed to radiate light and happiness. The whole room was in tears now, heads silently bowed in sorrow, but not Caspain. Caspian had his head tilted up as silent tears ran down his cheeks. Hearing about the parents of his worlds heroes touched him in a way he didn't know was possible. He could finally see where the siblings sense of unity and love and bravery all came from.

The room is completely silent as the people talking about Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie sit down. Nobody moves, and it seems like nobody breathes. A silent question surrounds the room;

 _Is that all?_

Finally, after what feels like eternity, Susan stands up. All eyes turn to the tiny girl, and you can almost taste the pang of sympathy that shoots through the entire room. The murmurs come next as she makes her way to the podium, every step looking like it weighs a hundred pounds. Caspian can't catch them all, but the ones he does hear, he wishes he doesn't;

 _Poor dear, heard she hasn't eaten since the accident._

 _A touch of blush would have done her some good._

 _Isn't that necklace a bit bright for such an occasion?_

 _Such a shame. She was a good girl._

The talking finally stops as she rests her hands on the podium, holding her head up high as she stares out at the room full of people, her eyes are gleaming but she doesn't know if it's from anger or grief.

"I'm one of the privileged ones," she starts, ignoring the whispers that suddenly erupts around the room, "I had the honor of knowing each and everyone of these people in person, except maybe Jill. I've met her a few times, and from what I could tell, she was a bright and determined young woman. She was best mates with my cousin Eustace, and he talked about her so much. She was his friend when he couldn't find one, which is frankly his fault because he used to be a prat," she smiles as the room is filled with sad chuckling. "The point is, she helped my cousin and was good friends with my sister, and I will never be able to thank her for that. Eustace… I… They were both sixteen. Too young. All of them.. I… it was too soon. They had so much to do and be…. Professor Kirke was the greatest man I knew that wasn't related to me," her eyes fill with tears and she looks around desperately. Her eyes catch Caspian's and, he might be wrong, but she seems to breath a little bit better. Her eyes don't leave his as she continues. "He was brilliant and gave way more than he received, but he was happy doing it. Ms. Polly… Sweet Ms. Polly. Well, she was sweet until the professor said something unintelligent, which according to her was quite often. She always tried to make everyone sime and make them happy."

Caspian studies her carefully as she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Her hand is tightly clenched around her necklace, but he doesn't even thing she realizes. When she finally opens her eyes, she gazes at him with a new intensity. It makes him shiver, but she isn't thinking about him. She just calmly continues her speech.

"My mother and father were the best role models I could have asked for. They loved us all so much, but I know they wanted to go together. They loved each other, even when father had to be away for months at a time. I wish I could tell them I love them one more time. I need to know that they know. I need to know that they _all_ know," her voice rises and her voice starts to crack, "they were all good people! They were all _wonderful_ people! They can't be dead! Peter was going to be a doctor! Ed never got the new torch that I bought him for Christmas. Lucy never even had her first kiss and… I've been so selfish!" She's sobbing now, not paying attention to the room full of people watching her. "I should be the one gone! They deserved to live! All of them! It should be me and I don't deserve to live. I-" she freezes as she realizes where she is. A cry escapes her throat, sounding like nothing he's ever heard before, almost like an animal, but definitely not human. And suddenly she's running. She runs out what Caspian assumes is a back door, and the entire room is frozen in silence.

"Susan!" He finds himself yelling, shoving through the crowd, ignoring all the eyes that are on fall to him.

She doesn't hear him, obviously, but he yells her name again anyway.

" _Move_!" He snarls at the people around him, shoving them roughly out of the way. A path quickly appears for him and he sprints to the front of the church.

The priest is staring at everyone shocked, but he makes no attempt to stop Caspian as he shoves past him, stumbling out the door that Susan used.

Her heels are in the alley, discarded by the garbage can.  
"It's freezing!" He mutters to himself disapprovingly as he picks them up and dusts them off, "and she has no shoes."

He glances at the address Peter wrote on his hand, not quite understanding what he was supposed to do with it. He didn't know his way around this world at all, yet he _had_ to find her flat.

He walks out of the alley, looking around confused.

"Excuse me. Sir?" He calls, tapping an older guy wearing a suit with a briefcase in his hand.

"Yes young man?" He asks, stopping and looking at Caspian in surprise, "what are you wearing?"

"Clothes..? Isn't this in style?" He looks down at his simple narnian tunic, suddenly wishing he had took Peter's advice and wore what he called a suit.

"Maybe," the man laughs, "I'm old. I don't know what's in style anymore. Are you from around here son?"

"No sir," he replies ,holding out his hand so the man can read the name "Do you know where this… flat is?"

"Actually I do!" He exclaims, smiling fondly, "fine little family. Tragic story, really tragic. You a friend of young Susan's then?"

"Yes sir," he smiles, wishing the strange man would just tell him where to go.

"I should of known. You're just that young lady's type. Don't get too friendly. Not so soon," he chuckles, "go straight down the road and turn left. Fourth set of flats on your right."

Before Caspian can ask what he means, the man hurries away, muttering something about being late. Caspian sighs, sprinting down the street.

He approaches the flat nervously, knocking on the door.

"Go back to the funeral Auntie. I'm fine," a soft voice calls, clearly choking back tears.

"You know, I've been called a lot of things," he chuckles, "not all of them nice. But I have never in my entire life been called auntie."

"Caspian…?" she whispers, her voice suddenly closer to the door.

"I just came to make sure you were alright. And to return your shoes," he says, suddenly awkward. He should have waited. What if she wanted to be alone?

She suddenly pulls the door open, smiling slightly. Her eyes are red and puffy, her face swollen from crying, but to Caspian, she was gorgeous.

BAD! He yells at himself internally. She isn't available! Especially not for you.

"Thanks," she whispers, reaching for the shoes.

"Of course!" He exclaims, holding them out to her, "are you okay?"

"Of course not," she laughs, "how is any of this okay?!"

"You were wrong back there Susan," he tells her, nervously.

"What?" she looks at him surprised.

"You're not selfish. You don't deserve to die. They all though the world of you," he whispers, staring at the ground. "They didn't deserve it. They really _were_ good people, but sometimes bad things happen to Good people. They don't deserve this, but neither do you."

"Thanks," she replies stonily, "would you like to come in?"

"No, it's alright. I'll walk to the hotel. Thanks Susan," he smiles, bowing his head respectively.

She shuts the door without a word, and he walks down the stairs, back into the cold unwelcoming streets of a world he doesn't know. _Oh, Aslan. How I need you._


End file.
